


Quick Fix

by Erisabesu (ErisabesuFic)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Borderline crack, Canon compliant-ish, Flirting, Humor, Jersey mishap, M/M, Shenanigans, Size Difference, They're In Love Your Honor, married atsuhina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26092258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErisabesuFic/pseuds/Erisabesu
Summary: "They pack in a hurry and dash over to the team locker room, only to find that they've forgotten Atsumu's jersey and brought two of Shouyou's by accident, because they both say MIYA on the back, and they were in a rush, dammit."
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 12
Kudos: 228





	Quick Fix

**"Quick Fix"**

♦

The Miyas may have returned from their official honeymoon six months ago, but all the rest of the Black Jackals are painfully aware that their honeymoon phase is still in full swing. There's no better illustration of this than that one afternoon before a big game, when Atsumu and Shouyou indulge in so much flirting, necking, and fooling around at home that they're almost late to the arena. They pack in a hurry and dash over to the team locker room, only to find that they've forgotten Atsumu's jersey and brought two of Shouyou's by accident, because they both say MIYA on the back, and they were in a rush, dammit.

Shouyou's jersey does not fit Atsumu, AT ALL. It's comically small. The sleeves keep rolling up his biceps to his shoulders, and at least three inches of muscled abs and hints of treasure trail show above his uniform shorts. Atsumu keeps tugging on the sleeves, and the hem, and twisting this way and that, but it's no use. He looks at Shouyou with a pained expression, then jerks, jaw hanging open -- Hinata is flushed and staring at him amorously with those twinkles all around.

"It looks good!" Shouyou declares, and holds up his fists, excitedly.

"No way! Forget it!" Atsumu rejects the whole idea with a firm hand, despite his husband's obvious approval. He's been clowned enough to know that wearing this _tiny_ jersey, even if it _is_ his beloved Shouyou's jersey, would be a death sentence.

The team is in various stages of chaos already -- Sakusa's facing the corner of the locker room, shoulders jiggling from a silent fit of laughter, while Bokuto seems unfazed, looking Atsumu up and down with a hand under his chin.

"It's bold! Go for it Tsum-Tsum!" Bokuto says.

Hearing this, Shouyou's twinkles multiply into a dizzying array, and Atsumu lifts a hand to shield his eyes.

"I dunno..." Meian says skeptically, frowning.

Barnes' face remains blank as he starts to leave the room. "There might be something..." he says cryptically before disappearing.

Inunaki pops up behind Atsumu and manhandles him against the lockers, face first. "Don't worry!" he says, and then pulls the jersey down with a violent tug that chokes Atsumu and leaves him spluttering. "I'll fix it!"

Atsumu then hears... the menacing sound of... duct tape ripping? Then he feels the pressure of Inunaki's hands on the left side of his back.

"Ohhhhh!" Shouyou says, voice rising in excitement along with more sounds of tape. "Uwaaah! So smart!"

Atsumu starts to sweat, worried about what he can't see on his back.

"There!" says Inunaki, proudly.

"Ah," says Thomas. "I get it."

"Of course!" shouts Bokuto. "You can have the same name, but you both can't have the same number!"

Atsumu cranes his neck, and then steps over to the mirror and twists to see that white sports tape has been applied to the "2" on Shouyou's jersey, changing it from "21" to read "81."

Atsumu is torn. Leave it to Inunaki to MacGuyver something like this, which is kinda impressive, but at the same time, the jersey is just too damn small! Atsumu looks up to see Sakusa in the mirror, and their eyes meet for a moment - then Sakusa dissolves into another bout of silent giggles, turning away and shaking.

"Now for the front!" Inunaki exclaims with glee, ripping tape from the roll with another menacing sound.

"Stop, hang on!" Atsumu lunges away, feeling panic rising up in his chest. He runs his hands through his hair in frustration, which makes the shirt curl right up all the way to his pecs, showing off his full six pack -- how in the heck is he supposed to serve, or to set?

"I can't play like this!" Atsumu wails, trying to tug the jersey back into place.

At this irrefutable evidence the team agrees, standing in a line and shaking their heads. "No way," they say in unison. Even Shouyou!

Atsumu slides down the lockers and hangs his head, feeling his soul escape with the agony of having to sit out of the game, when the door opens and in walks Barnes with... bwuh?

"Jackasuke!" everyone shouts in surprise.

It's not a bad surprise, but it's unclear just what it means that their beloved mascot is in the locker room. Yet there he is, with his friendly, cartoon smile and furry suit. Jackasuke waves his paw, hesitantly.

"Hey hey hey!" Bokuto grins and jumps over to him, giving Jackasuke a double-high five on his plush paws.

"What's up?" Meian asks Barnes, and Barnes points to Jackasuke.

"He's going to trade with Atsumu."

"Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!????" everyone exclaims in shock, and none louder than Atsumu.

"You mean, he's going to be the setter?" Atsumu flails his arms. "Uh-unh, no way! Tha's my job, an I ain't gonna--"

Barnes interrupts with a smack to the back of Atsumu's head. "His _jersey_." Barnes points again to the jersey that is part of Jackasuke's costume. "He's going to trade jerseys."

"Ohhhhh!" Everyone exclaims. 

They all look at Jackasuke appraisingly. The jersey is an official team jersey, with MSBY on the back and the number "00." Since it's sized to go over a fur suit, it should fit Atsumu decently enough to allow him to play in the game. Atsumu feels tears of relief at his eyes. He rushes over and hugs Jackasuke spontaneously.

"Thank you!"

Jackasuke pats him awkwardly on the back.

"Okay, Miya, hurry up and change," says Meian.

"I'm already changed!" Shouyou grins proudly, hands on his hips.

Barnes lightly smacks Shouyou on the back of the head.

"The _other_ Miya, obviously," Meian corrects, frowning, and Shouyou sticks out his tongue playfully, while rubbing his orange hair.

Meian continues, "The rest of you, we've got warm-ups in five."

Everyone scatters to finish getting ready and leave the locker room, while Atsumu peels Shouyou's jersey from his body and waits for Jackasuke to do the same. Jackasuke hesitates, then scuttles into a toilet stall for privacy, acting shy. Finally, he holds the jersey over the top of the stall door, and Atsumu makes the exchange. Jackasuke's jersey is a tad too big, but it fits well enough that Atsumu feels confident he can set, serve, dig, or perform any other technique on the court.

Shouyou appears brightly beside Atsumu with the sports tape he swiped from Inunaki, which he holds up, grinning. "I'll fix it!"

Atsumu smirks, not regretting a single delicious minute of their afternoon waltz, tango, _and_ foxtrot through the garden of love, despite the current situation. He turns around and lets his husband change the MSBY into MIYA, and the "00" to "88."

"For good luck!" Shouyou says, grinning brightly.

Atsumu takes his husband by the cheeks, and bends down to plant a sweet, searing kiss on his adorable smile. "I'd rather have s'more of this for good luck, Shouyou..."

Shouyou rests his hands on Atsumu's sides, and hooks a leg around Atsumu's waist in a sexy display of flexibility. He waggles his brows. "Then come and get it, 'Tsumu..."

There's a charge in the air as they stare into each other's eyes for a lingering moment, cheeks flushed and hearts pounding, and right when they lean forward to kiss again -- the toilet beside them flushes, loudly, and Jackasuke waddles out of the stall. They all look at each other, frozen, maybe a little embarrassed, and then Jackasuke puts his head down and runs out of the locker room wearing Shouyou's backup jersey.

Atsumu and Shouyou look at each other -- and then start snickering hysterically. 

"MIYAS!!" shouts the captain from outside the locker room and down the hall. Everyone else is warming up and they're late -- again.

"Coming!" they answer in unison. Shouyou quickly finishes taping the numbers on the front of Atsumu's borrowed jersey, and they dash out of the locker room to join the team.

It's only _after_ they've won the game that Atsumu learns that the other part of the deal made by Barnes obligates him to play the role of Jackasuke at least once per month, including their occasional fan events, much to his utter despair. 

Sakusa is still laughing.

—

Ω

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a twitter thread, and I figured I may as well archive it here! :D Hope you enjoyed, and would love to hear about it if you did! <3
> 
> Come say hi on twitter! [@erisabesu3](https://twitter.com/erisabesu3)


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